ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF ME PART A B C D E F WHATEVER,HOW I FEEL AGAIN ALWAYS ME

1. SO WHAT IS LOVE ANYHOW, HOW DOES ONE KNOW WHAT IT REALLY IS . I KNOW IT DOESNT FEEL LIKE I DO RIGHT NOW ,I FEEL PREETY BAD LIKE MY HEART HAS BEEN STEPPED ON A HUNDRED TIMES ,I MEAN I DID EVERYTHING I COULD LORD KNOWS HE HAD HIS ISSUES WELL SO DID I AFTERALL I TOOK HIM BACK 15 TIMES IN 3 YEARS AFTER EVERY TIME HIS MOTHER NEEDED HIM HOME FOR WHATEVER OR SHE WAS LONELY HE MOVED BACK HOME ,THE GUY DISSAPEARED FOR 6 MONTHS THE LAST TIME .. WHEN IS IT TOO MANY TIMES TO TAKE HIM BACK WHEN DO YOU LET GO OF LOVE WHEN ITS ALL YOU FEEL FOR THAT PERSON...I NEVER DRINK ALCOHOL OR DID ANY DRUG MY WHOLE LIFE THANK GOD I SAID NO MORE NOT GONNA HAPPEN MAYBE THATS WHY HE LEFT,APPARENTLY REASONS UNKNOWN ,HE FORGOT TO MENTION WHEN HE COULDNT SLEEP HE WAS BUSY CLEANING OUT MY CAR MAKING SURE HE DIDNT MISS A RECIEPT I MEAN COME ON A RECIEPT ..ONE WOULD THINK HE WOULD STOP GOING TO HER WHEN HE GETS DEPRESSED I WOULD OF HELPED AND NOT HIS MOMS WAY FORCING HIM INTO A CAR AND DRIVING HIM 3000 MILES AND HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE BUT IS THAT EVEN TRUE HE DID TELL THE POLICE THAT BUT SEE HE LIES SO MUCH HE BELIEVES HIMSELF.WHEN IS IT TOO MUCH TO KEEP DEALING WITH ,WHEN DO YOU STOP IT FROM HAPPEMING AGAIN I THOUGHT I HAD A WEEK BEFORE HE LEFT WE TALKED FOR HOURS,ALL GOOD STOP THINKING LIKE ME LOL.THE NIGHT BEFORE LEAVING IT WAS THE BEST NIGHT OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, GUESS THAT WAS MY GOODBYE, ISO WHAT I POSTED BEVERYTHING HE DID TO ME OR HIS FAMILY DID ON FACEBOOK BUT IT WAS ALL SO SO VERY TRUE,HIS MOTHER EVEN GOES ON TO SAY HOW SHE LIVES FOR THE LORD HE IS SEEING ALL THEY ARE DOING AND WOW IS HE MISSING THEM ALL TOGETHER , GOD WOULD NOT ALLOW THIS HE SPEAKS OF TRATING THY NEIGHBOR AS YOU WANNA BE TREATED OR SPEAKETH THE TRUTH ALWAYS  SHALT NOT SIN ,STEAL, LIE ...BE HUMAN IS THE MAIN ONE LOL SOMTHING THESE PEOPLE DONT GOT A CLUE ABOUT ,YOU DONT WALK OUT WITHOUT A WORD , BECAUSE DRUGS WERE DONE  NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON YOU JUST DONT..SHOULD OF RESPECTED ME AS I DID HIM ALWAYS AND TOLD ME HE WAS LEAVING,ITS HARD I GOT FROM HIM NOT WE R DONE TILL A WEEK LATER AND I DONT LOVE YOU YET WHERE DID YOU RUN TOO WHEN YOU RAN AWAY FROM YOUR  MOM, SISTER AND BROTHER AND LAW..EVERYONE BELIEVES HIS FAMILY .THEY KNOW NOTHING BUT HOW TO LIE SO THE MESSAGE IS THIS APPARENTLY DO WE GO TO CHURCH TO TEACH HOW TO LIE OR IS IT THAT NO MATTER WHAT WE DO GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU AS LONG AS ITS NOT  A MURDER!!!!WE NEED TO SEND THE RIGHT MESSAGES TO OUR CHILDREN ,ITS NOT OK TO LIE MY DAUGHTERS 11 AND SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING IVE DONE WRONG IN MY LIFE AS A LESSON TO BE LEARNED ...IM HAVING DIFFUCULTIES GIVING HIM UP ,HIS MOM WON YET I STILL WANT ,NEED AND LOVE HIM LIKE ITS NOTHING BEING ALONE SUCKS ,NO ONE HERE TO TALK TOO LOOK AT , MY FATHER DIED IN MAY THEN I HAVE TO BURY MY LIFE PARTNER IN JUNE FIGURTIVELY SPEAKING...WELL I DONT WANT TOO ITS NBOT FAIR TO BE USED LIKE THAT AND WHEN MOM SAYS COME BOY HES GONE ,I SEND A I LOVE YOU TEXT HE SENDS WE R DONE TEXT I DONT LOVE YOU . OVER NIGHT GUY OK I BELIEVE YA ,EVERY YEAR SAME OLD CRAP..HE KNOWS IM THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS SINCERE ,LOVED HIM WITH ONE EYE OR SCARS FROM EAR TO EAR OR EVEN STILL  AFTER LEARNING OF HIS ACCIDENT, BECAUSE OF FAMILY AND BRAINWASHING....FOR NOW ILL GON BUT SINCE IM ALONE ILL BE BACK CT..I APOLIGIZE IF I BORE BUT IM HOPING THIS IS A PLACE WHERE WE CAN HELP EACHOTHER,BECAUSE OF THIS I PRETTY MUCH NEED TO TALK ,VENT OR WHATEVER YOU CAN TOO BUT IF I SUCK KEEP QUIET LOL